Say What?

July 17th, 2009. Posted in About Being Deaf.

“I’m sorry? I’m Deaf I didn’t hear you”

When I say this I always point to my ear. I don’t know why I do this but it’s a habit. I can hear chattering and background noises but my problem is I don’t know when someone is talking to me.

Often times Tyler would sign to me, “That person just asked how you were doing today!”

Usually at this point, Tyler will say something to that person and make conversation with them. I worry this happens a lot when I’m shopping alone. They might think I’m a total bitch for ignoring them.

One time I was at a fast food restaurant and ordered something. While waiting for my order, I went to fill up my cup and by the time I turned around I saw an employee slam an order back on the counter and whispered angrily to another employee. I quickly realized that she must had come up behind me and tried to give me my order. I went up to the counter and told her “Excuse me… I’m Deaf” and she quickly smiled and apologized.

I can understand people if they’re talking directly at me and not talk through their teeth because that makes it impossible for me to read their lips. I’m sure other Deaf people can relate to this.

Have ever met or seen a Deaf person before?

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  • http://sarasera.com @sajego

    Oh yeah, happens alll the time.

    I’ve even had people I work with think I was stuck up for “ignoring” them. Nothing to do but explain and explain and explain. And if that doesn’t work I guess I end up ignoring them. :)

    One time I was talking to a friend of mine in his cubicle at work when a co-worker of his came up and started talking to him. I couldn’t follow their conversation at all so I zoned out. She left. Later my friend told me that she asked him “What’s with your friend?” “What do you mean?” “She was totally ignoring me.” “She wasn’t ignoring you, she’s deaf.” … oh… He was a good friend… stood up for me like that a few times.

  • http://livingwiththeboyfriend.blogspot.com Allison

    My mom’s cousin is deaf. She was about 20 years older than me and I never EVER knew it. She could read people’s lips perfectly and I finally figured it out at a family function. I was so dumbfounded because I kept thinking how did I not notice it.

  • Elizabeth

    Oh man–this happens to me all the time! My left ear is so far gone that a hearing aid won’t work for it, so what do people think? Of course I can hear out of it–there is nothing there! Bah–not.

    This happens to me a lot at airports. I’ll warn the gate people that I won’t be able to hear them but since I don’t ‘talk’ deaf, I guess, they just glare at me and ignore me when the time comes, so I’m always stuck asking people around me which group was just called. Awkward.

  • http://thosecorwins.com Steph

    I met Elizabeth in Vegas. Hi Elizabeth!! hehe! I knew she was deaf before I met her, so I tried to be really mindful and make sure she was able to hear everything that was going on. I wanted to punch the Starbucks person who kept mumbling so that she couldn’t hear though! I’m glad I know both of you though because I’ve never had the experience before, and I am glad I know more about what deaf needs are. <3

  • Chere

    That must be frustrating (for you!). A good friend in high school was deaf and it was a really interesting experience for all of us. We came to adore his interpreter and he was super popular. Even though he read lips and didn’t really sign much, lots of students picked up basic signs so they felt like they could communicate better with him. Also, texting was a HUGE help.

  • http://static-romance.org Angel

    I can only imagine how frustrating this is for you. I know I try to directly speak to someone no matter what the case is. I’ve had to speak with a few deaf people, but I know most sign language so it’s a bit easier for me. I know my mother can be ignorant somethings when it comes to others so I tried to do most of the communicating with I lived at home.

  • http://the222blog.blogspot.com Becka @Studio222 Photography

    I took ASL for 2 years in college and got my certificate. Sadly I’ve lost a lot of it since I haven’t been able to practice in about 2 years now but I LOVE IT. It’s so beautiful. I wish I could keep it up but I don’t really know anyone around here to practice with. :/ Every now and then if I see people out and about who are signing I’ll watch for a second to see if I can still understand. And then I get super excited when I can read what they are saying. Then I feel guilty for listening in. LOL.

  • http://www.fatmumslim.com.au fat mum slim

    This is so interesting to read. I guess with blind people, we can tell they’re blind within moments of meeting them. But realising someone is deaf isn’t as instant, or noticable.

    I have met some deaf and partly deaf people over the years. The time that sticks in my mind the most was when my girlfriend and I were at a bar. We started talking to a group of guys and they were deaf and partly deaf. It was so interesting to be able to communicate with them, in our own way.

    Thank you for allowing us a glimpse into your world. I really appreciate it. x

  • http://littleinsomniaclolita.blogspot.com/ andhari

    Oh that sounds annoying and I bet it’s frustating when people just get mad and assume you ignore them when you don’t :(

  • http://seeshermblog.blogspot.com See Sherm Blog

    Man, that has got to be frustrating. I’m sure that person felt bad too.

    I haven’t really had any experience with somebody who was deaf… so its really interesting for me to read you blog. Thanks for sharing this experience.

  • http://www.yourwishcake.com wishcake

    My first job was working retail at the mall, and we had a deaf woman who shopped there for her daughter quite often. I remember that it was always awkward for any of the employees who didn’t recognize her, because as they would walk up to her and say, “How are you today?” she would seemingly ignore them. My manager once came over and said, “Oh, my gosh! That woman! I greeted her several times and she totally ignored me!”

    It was awkward, because I had to explain to her that the woman was deaf, and afterwards she felt totally embarassed about the way she’d reacted.

    I think that it’s weird that our first indication is that someone is being RUDE when they don’t respond to something we say. I’m the same way, and I think I need to give people more benefit of the doubt!

    I’m sure it must be frustrating for you to deal with especially – but at least you have an awesome attitude about it. You are lovely. It’s true. :)

  • nicole

    Yes!! I hate that feeling, especially since my implant has been broken for a while and just getting it back. I have not been able to get back in sync like I used to be. So often I’m out of place and not always sure when someone is talking to me..

  • Pamoo

    ahh yes! I hate that, they must think we’re total bitches. :(

    One time, I was in subway (NYC) and was just people-watching. I suddenly noticed them looking at me back & looks concerned. I was confused — then I got startled– the homeless guy next to me was literally mad. His bloodshot eyes were widely opened & apparently he was saying something. I simply pointed my ears, DEAF!
    it was like good number of 15 people, including the bum, reacted,
    OOOOOOHHHHH SHE’S DEAF

    they must have thought I was acting the bum didn’t exist… ack!

    I’m sure the deaf community has countless stories with this..
    including some comments about “You’re deaf? But you’re pretty.”
    AHHHH

  • Reeder’s Corner

    I’ve never spoke to someone that’s deaf, but I see deaf people on the subway and bus all the time! They sign so fast, I’m always so impressed!

  • http://rachieann.com/wp/ Rachie

    My high school best friend’s parents were both deaf but her and her sister weren’t. Weird. Anyway, it was hard to get use to but after a few months I didn’t think anything of it.

  • http://sleepyjane.wordpress.com/ sleepyjane

    I haven’t had a lot of interaction with a deaf person, but when I worked in a certain local restaurant we had this one man that always came in. He had kind eyes and always ordered a banana milkshake and a cheeseburger. :) I still remember him 5 years later.

    He also only came and ordered with one or two of us that knew he was deaf and didn’t make a big deal about it. There were a lot of young people working there and you know how people get.

    He also carried a little notebook with him and we talked like that.

  • http://ajillofalltrades.wordpress.com A Jill of All Trades

    Growing up I had a deaf aunt. She could mumble sounds out kind of like Marlee Matlin, but not as clear. I learned sign launguage and wanted to learn it well enough to be like my father and deaf people.
    Having a conversation with me would be exhausting for any deaf person. :)

  • http://nicoleisbetter.com nicoleantoinette

    I studied ASL in high school and college and used to do a lot with different Deaf communities. Since then, I’ve totally stopped signing and am devastated that I’ve pretty much forgotten it all.