luxe chandelier

August 2006

I wear my hearing aid every day from my waking moment to the second I go to bed… unless I have a headache or want to ignore someone, haha. You get the point anyways.

I remember the day when my cochlear implant was activated for the first time which was a month after my surgery. We arrived at my doctor’s office and they led us to a small room. My parents and Tyler were with me with this lady, M, who did my activation.

M had me put my cochlear implant on and hooked it up to the computer. I had to tell her when I heard the beeping sounds and to tell her if it was comfortable, loud, or too loud/uncomfortable. After doing that for a few minutes M warned me she was going to turn my cochlear implant on for the first time.

My hearing aid was off so at this point I wasn’t hearing anything until M turned it on. My parents immediately started talking so I could hear them – it was almost like they were cooing at me. It quickly turned to be an unpleasant experience. I could hear my parents but their voices sounded so weird and I hated what I was hearing. Everything sounded mechanical.

M asked me to try talking so I could hear my own voice and I refused. I didn’t want to disappoint myself.

What if I hated how I sound? Was it really how hearing people hear me?

M told me she was going to turn up the volume and keep turning it up slowly until I told her it was uncomfortable. At this point I didn’t know what comfortable felt anymore. When M turned up the volume it sounded like a lion roaring but loud & louder.

We did some testings where she would say a month behind a piece of paper and I had to listen and tell her what month she was saying. I didn’t do too well and got a lot wrong unlike with my hearing aid I get them all correct. M assured me it was just the beginning and my brain was “waking up” and I would get used to it.

We left the office and I did not wear my cochlear implant. My parents & Tyler tried getting me to wear it so I can practice and get used to it. It was really unpleasant when I put my cochlear implant on as the roaring sound occurred for a minute then subsided.

I slowly got used to wearing it but I wanted to wear my hearing aid too and I did. I was hearing things that I could never hear before or was not that clear and sharp until now. With all the traffic noise going on I could even hear my blinkers!

There was one problem. I had to learn how to tell where the noises were coming from. With my cochlear implant – it makes me think all the sounds are coming from the left side. This was the main reason why I wear both my hearing aid and cochlear implant at the same time.

I had to get used to the fact that when my cochlear implant battery dies, it just dies/turns off without any warning. I hated this. My hearing aid doesn’t do this – it slowly dies so I have time to change my battery. The nice thing is I have rechargeable batteries for my cochlear implant that are good up to 8 hours so I have 8 hours before it will need to be recharged.

Tyler has helped me so much when I would constantly ask him what that noise is. I still do now sometimes. I’ve learned to love and hate some sounds. I hate the sound of people rubbing their hands. I can even hear Tyler doing that behind me in the grocery store! The other night Tyler was talking to his Dad on the speakerphone and I could hear his Dad talking from the other room. I’m always amazed at the sounds I hear all the time.

Just because I can hear sounds clearly now does not mean I can 100% understand everything now. I’ve had some people tell me that they couldn’t wait to have a phone conversation with me after my activation. Learning how to understand people on the phone is a difficult thing since I can’t lipread through the phone…obviously.

I can call people and do all the talking but then I’d have to hang up before they even talk. I do that sometimes with Tyler if he’s not responding to his text messages. I’d call him and say what I need to say then hang up and he would text me back. Lame I know, but it works!

Feel free to ask me any questions or for clarification if I confused anyone on this long post!

Lately I’ve been looking on Craigslist almost every day for good deals. We have absolutely nothing in our dining room & living room. Yesterday I decided to look online searching specifically in the town where we live. I came across this beautiful sofa that was just purchased for $1,000 and was the woman was selling it for $175. I knew I had to get this sofa under my roof so I e-mailed her. A few hours later she e-mailed me saying that 2 other people were going to come and see it and if both of them didn’t want it then it’s ours. She gave me her phone number and said to call at 8:30PM.

We called her and she said it was still available so we went over there. Surprisingly she only lives on the street next to my parents’ house. After only 5 minutes of talking about the sofa and looking at it we decided to buy it from her. Tyler went outside to call my parents since the sofa would only fit in my dad’s truck.

I stayed inside to talk with Katie this woman who was selling the sofa. She explained that she was downsizing because she and her fiance just recently broke up and she couldn’t stay and rent this huge house by herself. She’s a personal trainer and had her own gym inside the house for her private clients. She was just about selling everything in her house. I was tempted but knew we shouldn’t spend anymore money right now since we just bought a sectional couch for our family room.

We’re so excited every time we add something new to the house. It’s an overwhelming feeling of knowing that every small thing is worth it in the long run. We need to pay attention to our front yard since our neighbor told us that the community association has people come all the time and make sure everyone is following the rules. She got fined $50 for an overgrown plant that barely touched the sidewalk. I’m just glad we don’t live in the Country Club where my parents live. They have more rules. They recently got a letter saying they need to add more rocks to their yard because it’s “bald” which is insane!

This weekend we’ll be building a platform bed. I came across Freckles Chick‘s blog about her beautiful bed. I am absolutely in love with how high their bed is and how much room for storage they have under their bed. She told me of this DIY tutorial to create a platform that they did. This is our project for this weekend. I’m so excited because I have no energy in the mornings to pull myself up and out of bed. I’d rather climb down or fall out of bed. My goal for this weekend is: NO INJURIES for both me and Tyler.

I’ve always wanted a tattoo but never knew what I wanted on my body permanently. At the end of Summer 2006, I knew I wanted to get my favorite quote tattooed on my foot and decided to do it that day before I chickened out.

I was so nervous and wishing the tattoo artist would hurry up and get this over with. I nearly broke Tyler’s hand from squeezing it too hard. It didn’t last any longer than 3 minutes. It felt like someone was irritating me to no end and it was so hard not moving my leg instead of kicking the tattoo artist across the room. Sometimes I would forget that I have a tattoo until I see a stranger staring down at my foot trying to read what it says.

“Fashion Fades, Style Remains”

In the Spring of 2008, I decided I wanted another tattoo of 4 stars on my other foot. The 4 stars represent the 4 men who were dear and special to me that passed away. Both of my grandpas, step-grandpa, & a good family friend Tom.

This time it was more painful than the first tattoo. It took forever with the filling of the stars. I was sweating like there was no tomorrow and couldn’t breathe very well. The last star faded a little bit but not too bad. I don’t think I’ll get a touch up as I’m done with tattoos.

My parents asked me what I was going to do if I was 70 years old and didn’t want my tattoos anymore. I know that’s not going to happen. If it seriously happens, I don’t care, I won’t be staring at my own feet anymore. I’ll be wearing socks!

Do you have any tattoos & what’s the story behind it?