August 2006

I wear my hearing aid every day from my waking moment to the second I go to bed… unless I have a headache or want to ignore someone, haha. You get the point anyways.

I remember the day when my cochlear implant was activated for the first time which was a month after my surgery. We arrived at my doctor’s office and they led us to a small room. My parents and Tyler were with me with this lady, M, who did my activation.

M had me put my cochlear implant on and hooked it up to the computer. I had to tell her when I heard the beeping sounds and to tell her if it was comfortable, loud, or too loud/uncomfortable. After doing that for a few minutes M warned me she was going to turn my cochlear implant on for the first time.

My hearing aid was off so at this point I wasn’t hearing anything until M turned it on. My parents immediately started talking so I could hear them – it was almost like they were cooing at me. It quickly turned to be an unpleasant experience. I could hear my parents but their voices sounded so weird and I hated what I was hearing. Everything sounded mechanical.

M asked me to try talking so I could hear my own voice and I refused. I didn’t want to disappoint myself.

What if I hated how I sound? Was it really how hearing people hear me?

M told me she was going to turn up the volume and keep turning it up slowly until I told her it was uncomfortable. At this point I didn’t know what comfortable felt anymore. When M turned up the volume it sounded like a lion roaring but loud & louder.

We did some testings where she would say a month behind a piece of paper and I had to listen and tell her what month she was saying. I didn’t do too well and got a lot wrong unlike with my hearing aid I get them all correct. M assured me it was just the beginning and my brain was “waking up” and I would get used to it.

We left the office and I did not wear my cochlear implant. My parents & Tyler tried getting me to wear it so I can practice and get used to it. It was really unpleasant when I put my cochlear implant on as the roaring sound occurred for a minute then subsided.

I slowly got used to wearing it but I wanted to wear my hearing aid too and I did. I was hearing things that I could never hear before or was not that clear and sharp until now. With all the traffic noise going on I could even hear my blinkers!

There was one problem. I had to learn how to tell where the noises were coming from. With my cochlear implant – it makes me think all the sounds are coming from the left side. This was the main reason why I wear both my hearing aid and cochlear implant at the same time.

I had to get used to the fact that when my cochlear implant battery dies, it just dies/turns off without any warning. I hated this. My hearing aid doesn’t do this – it slowly dies so I have time to change my battery. The nice thing is I have rechargeable batteries for my cochlear implant that are good up to 8 hours so I have 8 hours before it will need to be recharged.

Tyler has helped me so much when I would constantly ask him what that noise is. I still do now sometimes. I’ve learned to love and hate some sounds. I hate the sound of people rubbing their hands. I can even hear Tyler doing that behind me in the grocery store! The other night Tyler was talking to his Dad on the speakerphone and I could hear his Dad talking from the other room. I’m always amazed at the sounds I hear all the time.

Just because I can hear sounds clearly now does not mean I can 100% understand everything now. I’ve had some people tell me that they couldn’t wait to have a phone conversation with me after my activation. Learning how to understand people on the phone is a difficult thing since I can’t lipread through the phone…obviously.

I can call people and do all the talking but then I’d have to hang up before they even talk. I do that sometimes with Tyler if he’s not responding to his text messages. I’d call him and say what I need to say then hang up and he would text me back. Lame I know, but it works!

Feel free to ask me any questions or for clarification if I confused anyone on this long post!