Sounds Are Not Everything

January 12th, 2010. Posted in About Being Deaf.

An old friend took this picture of me for a project she did in 2003

I have been often asked, “Do you wish you were hearing?”

…and I always proudly reply back, “No, I’m glad to be deaf”

Mainly because I can already hear with the help of my hearing aid and cochlear implant. I was very fortunate since I was born with a severe to profound hearing loss.

I can’t imagine having to hear every second of my life without an on/off switch. I have the choice to turn my hearing aid & cochlear implant off and not hear a single thing at night or whenever I want to, usually when I have a headache. However I must wear them everyday. I even used to pretend to ignore my parents when they called my name to ask me to do something for them and I’d blame it on dead batteries. (Sorry, Mom & Dad! I’m sure Lauren does that sometimes with you too!)

People assume I can talk and understand people just because I can hear. Not necessarily true. I heavily rely on lip-reading to understand what is being said. Some people even thought I’d be able to finally talk on the phone after getting my cochlear implant. Again, not true. I can hear voices/sounds coming out but I can’t make out to what people are saying on the other end because I can’t lip-read through the phone. If I was to call someone the person on the other end would have to only say – Hi, Yes, No, Okay, Bye for me to understand.

Although I wish I could understand people easily without having to lip-read and focus on what they’re saying that sometimes it’s a puzzle trying to figure out what people are saying. Hearing people can easily wander their eyes around and not have to have their eyes glued on the person talking. Tyler is so fortunate he can hear very well and had a lot of practice so he can talk on the phone & talk to people without having to look at them. I know I could be able to do this but with a lot of speech therapy.

I can’t fall asleep with my hearing aid on – every sound I hear wakes me up. I know hearing people can block out sounds if they wanted to. My sister and I both have slept through all of my Mom’s nightmares including one time when she ran around the house thinking my Dad was a murderer. Too bad I didn’t wake up to see that!

I’m glad I am deaf and sounds are not everything to me.

http://countingtheyears.com Lizzie

You are an inspiration – I hope that doesn’t sound patronising because I know you probably don’t see yourself that way and don’t want to be considered “different”. None of my friends are deaf and I have no idea what you go through, but it’s just nice to see you not view it as a problem or a burden. It’s something that defines who you are, and you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t deaf :) What a lovely post :)

Thank you! I don’t mind being different – I mean after all everyone is different and it’s not like I know what the difference is of being hearing and deaf because I was born deaf. You’re right about not being who I am today if I wasn’t deaf – If I was hearing I’d definitely be married to Jake from the Bachelor!!! *swoons* – steph anne
http://amandalaura.blogspot.com Amanda

I agree- a lovely post indeed! You are so positive and upbeat :) Love it!

In the states I used to babysit a boy who had an implant. I’ve been babysitting him for over a year and every time he still tells me that his mom lets him sleep with it, so he can hear when she comes home. (silly boy, the LAST thing your mom wants is to have to put you to bed AGAIN!) then when I would have him take it out, he would completely ignore me even though he had mostly perfect hearing in his other ear. When I would ask him to look at me when I spoke to him, he would say “I’m sorry- I’m having trouble hearing you right now. If you would let me put my implant back in we could talk.” Sneaky, sneaky! :)
Ashley

So, your sister is also deaf? Is it a genetic condition that causes you to be deaf?

Yes, my sister is also deaf. We’re not sure if it’s genetic or not since we never really decided to get tested. I think so but we don’t know since I’m supposedly the first one. It also could be based on the genes my parents both had (according to this website). It could be possible that both my parents has recessive genes. – steph anne
http://www.writingtoreachyou.com Ashley

Such an interesting post. So many of these things I don’t even think about in my daily life.
http://emily-jane.net Emily Jane

I agree, you are a total inspiration. I kind of sometimes rely on lip-reading too – I’ve found when I don’t have my glasses on and can’t see somebody’s face in anything other than a blur, I won’t understand or hear what they’re saying half the time!
http://wanderingtex.wordpress.com texpat

While I can’t really compare the two, over the years my eyesight has gotten so bad that I’m just shy of being legally blind. This is also something that I would do everything in my power to correct if I could. I have taken several courses of ASL and I love being able to sign at least a few things to people if it helps. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be deaf, and I’m glad you’re posting things like this! It helps to spread understanding and definitely inspires! Good on you!
http://www.fatmumslim.com.au fat mum slim

You are the most beautiful person, inside and out, ever. I have decided. xx
http://livingwiththeboyfriend.blogspot.com allison

that’s a good point, I do look around a lot and don’t necessarily 100% focus on the conversation. Or I put the phone on speakerphone and walk around doing random things at the same time
http://barbetti.wordpress.com barbetti

I am totally inspired by you.

And I never thought about being able to turn noise on and off. Oh, how that would benefit my migraines!
http://onlysassier.com Sassy

So refreshing to see someone who doesn’t let their “disability” (and I put it in quotes for a reason) define them. There’s a lot more to you than being deaf and in fact, if you didn’t post about it, I definitely wouldn’t know. And I agree with the commenter who said that you are an inspiration. You talk about being deaf but not in the way that it hinders you or anything. It’s just a part of your life. :)
http://kitkatktmac.blogspot.com/ KtMac

I hear with a cochlear implant too! I love being able to turn off loud noises when I want. I hate listening to vacuum cleaners and blow dryers — what loud sounds drive you crazy? I used to get in trouble as a kid because I would turn it off when I was getting in trouble…which meant my mom would make me turn it back on and I’d get in trouble for that instead. ;-) It also means I can always nap on a plane.
Thank you for posting such upbeat blog posts. It makes me happy when other people feel the same way I do about being deaf — too many people focus on how it limits them.

I don’t think loud sounds really annoy me as much as quiet sounds because it irritates me when I can’t ignore it or figure out what it is sometimes. I HATE the sound of people rubbing their hands against each other. I love napping on the plane too, but it sucks when I’m deep dreaming and start jerking & drooling, lol! – steph anne
http://www.mamagooch.wordpress.com Erin

Love it! Very beautiful and empowering.
http://stylishhandwriting.com E.P.

Beautifully written! This post definitely gives me something to think about, too. I’ve never really thought about how my hearing impacts my life. Or how yours impacts you. And how it doesn’t have to be everything. Very interesting, indeed.

Thanks for this!
http://www.kylaroma.com Kyla Roma

I love this- and I can imagine that not being used to hearing makes it alarming when you do! Like what you were saying about waking up in the night. You have it all worked out, I love it =)
http://angiegoboom.com Angie

I read somewhere that if someone loses or one of their senses, or in your case born without it, then your other senses are stronger to make up for it. Is this true for you? Do you have x-ray vision? (lol j/k)

That’s true (for me but I can’t speak for all the other deaf people). My sight is very important to me…obviously! I’m always very aware of what’s going on around me and can even see if someone is trying to get my attention easily. I’m so glad I don’t have x-ray vision I think I’d be scarred for life if I did, lol! – steph anne
http://www.suburbansweetheart.com Suburban Sweetheart

Love this post. I don’t know anything about being deaf aside from a report I did on cochlear implants in high school (& the project itself was about stuttering, actually, not deafness). This was so interesting – just to get a window into the window of someone, otherwise so similar, who lives a little differently. Everyone’s normal is different. I liked learning about yours!
http://Callitaclan.blogspot.com Stephanie

This is an interesting perspective! Definitely interesting to discuss the difference between being able to hear and being able to understand. Thanks for sharing!
http://www.yourwishcake.com wishcake

I love reading your posts on being deaf. You are so inspiring and you have such a delightful outlook on everything! I love it. It’s interesting to know that you aren’t able to understand people over-the-phone, too – I wouldn’t have known that!

To be honest, I think it would be quite lovely to be able to turn off all all the noise of the world every now and then. Especially at night, or when I simply want to tune it all out. It’s an amazing thing that there is so much technology now to help with those who have difficulty with their hearing. It’s quite brilliant.

You are lovely, by the way.
Lauren

Thanks for having this blog! I just happened upon it when I googled “turning on a cochlear implant.” It was great to read about your experience turning it on. My dad is turning his on TOMORROW, and my family is really excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time. He hasn’t heard us in 15 years, so it is scary to think tomorrow that all might change. I have no idea what to expect from it, but I’m glad I got to read your story and at least have some frame of reference. I also really like your wedding story, as I am getting married this December. I’m really glad you write this blog–thank you!

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