So I finally got a new mapping session for my cochlear implant!

Lost already?

A mapping session is where they reprogram my cochlear implant. It’s best to get it reprogramed every once a while so when my brain gets used to the sounds & volume then I can go in for another session to increase and adjust the program.

So anyways, about a month ago I got a brochure in the mail from the company of my cochlear implant (Advanced Bionics) about a new program called ClearVoice where it eliminates a lot of background noise so speech is more clear and easier to process/understand. They did a video clip (click on video demos) showing how it sounds if you’re curious.

So I immediately called my cochlear implant doctor’s office to schedule for an appointment. I met with the audiologist that works for the doctor and we went into her office. She threw me off at first because her voice was so high I wasn’t sure if she was doing that because I was deaf and thought it was easier for me to understand her….which it definitely was not helping at all!

She asked me to take my hearing aid off for the session and had me take my cochlear implant off too. She had to connect my cochlear implant to the program on her laptop.

I explained to her how the volume control was ridiculous. The most comfortable I could have it on was at 7AM of the wheel. She said it should be on at noon. So she turned it on to ask me if this was a comfortable setting and I jerked and immediately grabbed the cochlear implant off. It was extremely loud! I was surprised she didn’t have it on low to be safe then slowly increase it. So after a while we finally got it to be at noon.

I also asked her if she had a new stronger magnet for my cochlear implant because the one I had wasn’t strong enough. It kept falling off especially when people hug me or if I was laying down. So now I’ve got a stronger magnet and just that makes me happy!

So we proceeded with reprogramming my cochlear implant. I have 3 programs on my cochlear implant and she explained that she was going to have the program #1 be with background noise, program #2 with some background noise and program #3 with VERY LITTLE background noise.

So today my co-workers and I went out for lunch and I was finally able to test it by having it on program #3. Seriously, it made a big difference. I could hardly hear the background noise. I heard some but it was so quiet that I could ignore it easily and focus on speech and understanding my co-workers. But in order to not hear background noise, I had to turn my hearing aid down or off. I could really hear everything they were saying but it doesn’t mean I understood everything. I still have to lip-read to understand them.

Even when I’m driving home and have music blaring in the car with it on program #3, I can’t really hear the traffic! Looove it!

ClearVoice is AMAZING and I’m so excited! It makes me want to wear my cochlear implant everyday now.

Being deaf is frustrating sometimes. Of course I knew that…I always have. But it was easier growing up where schools provided interpreters and being around deaf people more. Even friends learned how to sign so they could communicate with me… although they still talked to me but they would finger-spell words or sign with me if they didn’t want other people to know what we were talking about. Also when we were kids, we usually played a lot that we didn’t do a lot of talking.

College was a blast. I went to Rochester Institute of Technology where they had a deaf program so interpreters were provided and I lived in a dorm full of deaf people. It was so much fun and we all had it easy there.

Now it’s not like that anymore. I have never had an interpreter at work before. I go days without seeing deaf people. I also even go days without using sign language sometimes. I’m at work all day and when I come home, I don’t usually sign with Tyler since he can hear and understand me just fine.

Being able to sign and listen to conversations in sign language is so easy. I can easily be distracted and still understand what someone is saying to me with sign language. While on the other hand, with hearing people- I have to really pay attention so I understand what they’re saying that sometimes I don’t have time to process it before I can talk.

Some people are very easy to understand because of how they talk. Some others are really difficult to lip-read and understand. It can be difficult when they keep moving their head while talking, look away, talk so fast or change their tone to talk quietly. Also when people laugh while another person is still talking…that can be really difficult since there’s too much going on that I’m not understanding anymore.

Basically…it’s like putting a puzzle together when it comes to understanding people. I’m not giving up and I’m aware that this is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. But I hate how I feel like a burden to people sometimes. I hate that they probably wouldn’t want to tell me something because it wouldn’t be worth repeating or whatever.

I have two amazing co-workers at work who I talk and eat lunch with everyday. They have been supportive of my deafness by repeating things I missed or just clarifying something that someone else said to me that they overheard a conversation between me and a broker. As much as I really appreciate it and am thankful that they do that for me, I wish they didn’t have to do that. It makes me feel “small” sometimes.

I guess it just would be easier if everyone knew sign language. :)

I just needed to get that all out and now I feel better. Now I don’t want anyone to be feeling sorry for me because that’s not what I want. I’m sure everyone has their own struggles with certain things and this is the story of my struggle.

I haven’t wore my cochlear implant for a month. It’s frustrating because I clearly need another mapping session. There are still sounds/things I can’t hear with it. I feel like there’s so much more background noise that I should be hearing with it and I’m not. I know this because I hear the background noise with my hearing aid all the time. So that’s probably why I haven’t felt the urge or desire to wear my cochlear implant lately.

A few months ago I lost an extra magnet piece that I had on my cochlear implant because of my hair. I need two magnets so my cochlear implant won’t easily fall off. It’s not fun hearing then all of a sudden I can’t hear anymore whenever I touch my hair or hug someone.

I also have a “special” direct connect cord that I can connect to my cochlear implant and plug in my iPhone so I can listen to music. I do this a lot at work so I pretty much only use my cochlear implant if I want to listen to music. Lately my direct connect cord has not been working. I have to wiggle it or have it placed in a certain way for it to work. So annoying that this morning I went online to buy a new cord. $25 for a new cord….okay, fine with me. But then I looked around into buying a new power gel (battery) because I should have four power gels but I lost one a few years ago. Each one of them only last 8 (or less) hours before charging again. So guess how much it costs for one power gel? $165! Being deaf is expensive. I didn’t buy it but I probably will need to later on.

Anyways, so this morning I called the doctor’s office who did my cochlear implant surgery back in 2006. I asked for a mapping session and they told me I need a referral from my primary doctor so I can have it covered by insurance. So I hope I can get this sorted out soon so I can get a mapping session done. I’d love to have a new map added to my cochlear implant so maybe I’ll be able to hear background noise and high pitch sounds.

Know how I know I can’t really some sounds that I should be hearing? Well, as I was driving home one day I turned my hearing aid off so I could practice hearing with my cochlear implant on only. I had the music blaring in the car then all of a sudden a car swerved in and cut me off. I yelled a bad word and then realized I couldn’t hear myself say the whole word. Instead I only heard myself say hole. So yeah, this is the story that pushed me to get a mapping session done! :)

P.S. You should go check out my friend, Sean Forbes’s music video (I’m Deaf) in sign language. Also check out the teaser of the new music video that’s coming out soon with Marlee Matlin in it (Let’s Mambo).