Say What?

Friday, July 17th, 2009

“I’m sorry? I’m Deaf I didn’t hear you”

When I say this I always point to my ear. I don’t know why I do this but it’s a habit. I can hear chattering and background noises but my problem is I don’t know when someone is talking to me.

Often times Tyler would sign to me, “That person just asked how you were doing today!”

Usually at this point, Tyler will say something to that person and make conversation with them. I worry this happens a lot when I’m shopping alone. They might think I’m a total bitch for ignoring them.

One time I was at a fast food restaurant and ordered something. While waiting for my order, I went to fill up my cup and by the time I turned around I saw an employee slam an order back on the counter and whispered angrily to another employee. I quickly realized that she must had come up behind me and tried to give me my order. I went up to the counter and told her “Excuse me… I’m Deaf” and she quickly smiled and apologized.

I can understand people if they’re talking directly at me and not talk through their teeth because that makes it impossible for me to read their lips. I’m sure other Deaf people can relate to this.

Have ever met or seen a Deaf person before?

I’m Deaf…Yes, Really.

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

My parents found out I was deaf before I turned 1 year old. The doctor bluntly told Mom that I was deaf and would have to go to a private school, get help, and many other things. Hurt by the doctor’s response, Mom cried and felt helpless because she wanted nothing but the best for me. My parents didn’t take this lightly and just listen to the doctor, they did their research on options for me.

When I was about 2 years old, I got hearing aids and loved wearing them because I could hear very well with them. I would constantly make noises “ahhh-lalala” and other weird noises when it was quiet or if I was by myself because I wanted to keep hearing. It was a bad habit to break when I got older.

The deaf institute was out of the picture since I would have to go live at school during the week and come home on the weekends. I was enrolled in a private deaf school in Seattle where their method was teaching SEE (Signed Exact English) and every word was to be signed and spoken at the same time. Every day I met with my teacher for 15 minutes to practice and work on my speech – I found it annoying as I got older. The school program only went up to 8th grade so I mainstreamed at my local middle school. I was actively involved in soccer and volleyball but I found it frustrating sometimes with friends. I don’t do well in big groups because it’s hard to lip-read and understand them. If I asked them what someone said they would always say, “I’ll tell you in a minute, hold on” then eventually never tell me because they forgot or it’s not important anymore.

I started hanging out with my deaf friends and went to deaf camps in the Summer. They used ASL (American Sign Language) which is different than SEE. ASL includes facial expressions and postures of the body. I’m glad I had the experience of attending both the deaf institute (for a year during my sophomore year) and my local school. I’m proud to be Deaf and have no problem telling people about my deafness. If I don’t understand someone, I tell them that I’m deaf and to either write it down or speak louder and clearer. I heavily rely on lip-reading too and sometimes people don’t move their lips when they talk!

My sister and I are the opposite of each other. I have exposure to both the deaf and hearing communities and she doesn’t have any exposure to the deaf community. Because of that, she doesn’t like people knowing she’s deaf. She won’t even let her hearing aids be visible which is why her hair is always down. I hope some day she’ll grow out of it and be open about her deafness. We both can speak very well and we don’t sign with our parents but they do sign and use their voice at the same time when talking with us. When my sister and I communicate we sign with each other.

In college I had a lot of friends that had cochlear implants. I was easily persuaded to get one myself because they were hearing all these small details that I could not hear with my hearing aids. I have never had a surgery before so it was a little bit frightening making this decision. Although it was an easy decision since I was not really using my hearing aid on my left since it was not helping me. So I decided to get implanted on my left because I wasn’t really going to lose any hearing anyways.

dscn4729
Surgery July 2006. Some people thought I had brain tumor.

dscn4742
The day I had my bandages taken off

About a month after the surgery, I finally got it activated. I hated it at first because it was so loud and overwhelming. I still use my hearing aid on my right side and would use my cochlear implant on my left at the same time. I started hearing a lot of things I could hear before but it was more clear and sharp. Sometimes I wouldn’t know what it was or where it was coming from and I had to ask Tyler or my parents. The only annoying sound with my cochlear implant is when Tyler rubs his hands. I didn’t wear it every day and I’m trying to fix that habit and wear it more often.

I know some people have questions about being deaf or about my deafness, feel free to ask anything you want to know!

Attempt at Vlogging

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

Vlogs. I noticed that more and more people are starting to do vlogs. Years ago there were no closed captioning on televisions and now we have that option and a lot of shows/movies are now either closed captioned or subtitled.  We faced another problem when television shows and movies were being uploaded on the Internet (Hulu, iTunes Store, etc) and there were no subtitles and finally after a while most of them have subtitles. With vlogs that’s not going to happen…

Vlogs are created by people themselves and I know it’s a lot of work having to create the subtitles yourself. I noticed a lot of bloggers are starting to do vlogs and I could just watch it and not understand it unless there’s a transcript to read along with.

I have seen some of my deaf friends’ vlogs and they’re interesting and fun to watch. Last night I created a vlog and I hate seeing myself sign. I hate the way I sign — my “style” that is. Everyone who signs have their own “style”. With hearing people – everyone’s voice doesn’t sound the same. I know some deaf people who sign beautifully and smoothly.

I hesitated about showing my vlog because I think it’s lame. At least I warned you. (Subtitles included)


Vlog: Seeing Myself Sign from steph anne on Vimeo.