I’m thinking about getting a security alarm installed in our new house.

I’m always waking up in the middle of the night thinking that there’s a boogeyman in the room ready to attack me. I always make Tyler get out of bed to check the entire place to make sure the boogeyman doesn’t exist.

The same exact thing happens with my Mom and even one time she thought my Dad was the boogeyman and ran around the house while my Dad was chasing her to get her to calm down. I’m so glad that has not happened with me and Tyler.

I wonder if this happens to me because when growing up I knew my parents could hear everything even hear me turning the pages while reading Nancy Drew books. I knew I was safe in their hands. With Tyler, he’s hard of hearing and cannot hear a thing at night because he’s heavily sleeping and snoring!

Maybe I need to stop reading the news about all these bad things happening.

Growing up my parents would always wake me up on April 1st and tell me it’s snowing outside. Of course I never believed them because it never snows in Seattle on April… except I guess it did today.

When I was young, my dad wanted me to do a prank on Mom one morning before school. He suggested that I pretend to flush my hearing aid down the toilet. I went along with it and hid my hearing aid and flushed the toilet so Mom would hear it from the other room and I screamed, “MOM!! My hearing aid fell in the toilet!!!!!” Mom totally fell for it! Poor Mom though… she didn’t want to have to buy a new hearing aid for me. They’re expensive & I wouldn’t go anywhere without my hearing aid on.

Freshman year in college, I decided to tell Tyler at around midnight that I was pregnant. He fell for it and was speechless, shocked, worried, and about to go insane. I played along for a few minutes by saying I had paged my parents and that he had to call his Mom now. He kept saying he was NOT going to call his Mom and started freaking out. Boy, he was really happy to hear it was only a joke!

Two years ago I played the same prank on my Mom through text.

Me: Mom, I think I’m pregnant. I just took two home pregnancy tests and they’re both positive. I’m scared.
Mom: Oh my gosh. Well, when was your last period? Were you taking your birth control pills? Can you get online now?
Me: Mom, April’s Fools Day! LOL, You’re not going to be a Grandma, okay.
Mom: Oh Steph, that was not FUNNY! Guess you got me good, real good. Now I can breathe again! What are you doing besides giving your poor old mother gray hair?

Today I decided to do a prank on my Mom through e-mail at work.

Me: My company just announced that they’ll start laying people off this Friday.
Mom: I wondered if they would be doing that. It’s a bad economy. Try not to worry and keep doing a great job.
Me: My boss just warned me that I have a high possibility of getting laid off since I’m still kind of new.
[Mom rambling on and on how I can talk with my boss about reducing my hours and etc]
Me: Mom… please look at the calendar. I love you.
Mom: I’m sorry… what calendar?
Me: Any calendar! What’s the date today?
Mom: OMGGGG! You bratty girl!!!!!!!!!! You did it to me again!!!!!!!! I’m sitting here all stressed out. Thanks for not dragging it out too long. Somehow, some way, I’m going to get you back for that.

Hahaha. That was definitely a good laugh this morning. I can’t believe April’s here already! This morning I was really tired to the point where I was typing February for the date…then I backspaced and typed in March. WTF.. I’m afraid to blink and find out it’s May.

Thank you for not giving me migraines or bad withdrawals today. I miss you, fizzy stuff! You’re definitely my drug and I wish I could love you without being addicted to you… hopefully someday I will be able to.

This morning I had to leave you at home. At work in the kitchen I saw that our receptionist cleaned out the fridge and there were TWO of you on the top shelf and then I remembered that I forgot I had you in the fridge from last week. When lunch hour rolled by… I had to leave you in the fridge again as I took Slimfast with me. After lunch, I had the urge to drink you but I didn’t cave in. I even told my co-worker about my addiction so now I can’t cheat.

I’m leaving work soon and I’m afraid that when I have dinner tonight I’m going to drink you in one gulp and that I’ll cave in and drink more of you. Damn you for being so fizzy and satisfying!

I can do it and I’ll keep trying all week long and it’ll be interesting to see how much weight I lose this week without you, Diet Coke.

Love (painfully),
Steph Anne