After our first day at Sweat

So I joined Sweat* again. I actually emailed the owner and told him I was interested in doing it again because obviously I didn’t get anywhere in losing weight. Obviously I had a mid-year crisis – I can’t believe it’s almost July already!? Anyways, he was determined to help me out and had Tyler and I come in to meet with him. He gave us a big discount so we could afford it and stick to it. That was really nice of him! The catch was that he wanted Tyler to do it too because he believes it’s important for us both to do the same thing and have the same goals so we can help each other out.

So we signed up and did the depressing stuff – taking our measurements & weighing in. Then we went over the diet stuff. He expects me to lose 20 pounds in 3 weeks!!! It’s possible but dang… I BETTER lose 20 pounds!

Our first day in the gym was no joke. We didn’t even warm up. He had Tyler do the Jacob’s ladder for 15 minutes while I was on the elliptical bike then switched over to the stairmaster. We were literally sweaty at the end of the hour.

It feels good and I can tell I feel so much better but I’ve been having a few headaches….probably due to the fact that I haven’t had Diet Coke in a while. Overall, I’m looking forward to seeing the results and making lifestyle changes!

*Sweat is the name of the gym. It definitely lives up to its name for sure! People can’t just use the gym anytime. There are many different programs: weight loss, sweat cheer/wrestling, toning, personal training, etc. The way it works is you sign up for the hour you want to go for small group training and there will be a personal trainer working with you individually with about 7 other people. Everyone has different goals. There are also personal training for 1 on 1 but of course those sessions are way too expensive!

I had to keep a secret but now I don’t need to anymore.

I applied to be on the show, Heavy, on A&E last month. I didn’t think much into it and didn’t think it’d go anywhere. Well, a week later the casting director contacted me and told me they were interested and asked me to fill out a questionnaire. The typical questions were like,

• What is your biggest regret that is a consequence of your weight?
• How has your weight affected your health?
• What are your three most important reasons for losing weight?

…and lots of describing myself and telling my story. I answered the questions and sent the questionnaire back to her. She asked me not to tell anyone of our conversation because you know they do that with all TV shows anyways. She even called Tyler to make sure we were aware of that. Meanwhile I asked my boss if it would be okay to take a month (or more) off if I got picked and she was totally supportive of it and said I’d still have my job.

A few days later, she emailed me back and told me I made it to the next round. They were interested in my story and now wanted me to do a videotape. They were asking for a lot….

• Eating bad food
• Cooking
• Show the inside of my fridge
• My closet and clothes
• Old pictures of me
• Things that are hard to do physically
• Show my work place

I got overwhelmed by reading all the things they wanted me to do. I’ll be honest here…..I chickened out!! Actually…Tyler and I talked about it because we didn’t even discuss anything before I randomly applied because I seriously didn’t think they would contact me. After our discussion, we both agreed we didn’t feel financially comfortable with me leaving for a month. And honestly….I don’t think I could go for a month being isolated at a resort without my iPhone UNLESS I was on The Biggest Loser which is my favorite show! I even dreamed that I went through the last chance work out with Bob & Jillian. It felt so real and so I’d like to pretend I did.

Anyways….so yep, it sucks because now I’ll have to live with that regret of not knowing what would have happened if I sent in a videotape. But honestly… I’m not going to dwell on it because I am still working on myself by going to boot camp and doing a 5K run/walk next Saturday. At least I’m not giving up!

So that was my secret. Sorry you won’t see me on TV revealing my rolls of fat & how much I weigh.

Playing in a tournament in Washington DC in 2002

I can’t believe I let myself get to how much I weigh now. I can’t even accept the number that the scale reads.

I was very active when growing up – I played peewee soccer then volleyball in middle school. In high school I played volleyball & basketball. I remember being so busy and coming home from practice or a game and doing my homework until bed time… same routine every day! It was crazy – I didn’t have time to actually think about the food I craved for or wanted. Also because of the sports I was playing, I had high metabolism so I could eat whatever I wanted and not really gain weight.

The day my mom left me at college I remember thinking, “Wow, I can do whatever I want now!!” Instead of eating 3 meals a day, I could eat whenever and whatever I wanted anytime with friends. I felt so comfortable with myself and didn’t really care about my appearance at the time. I didn’t look into playing sports. College was very different – different routine every day and so many different friends & clubs with little time left to do anything else. Living in the dorms was challenging since we didn’t have kitchens so we couldn’t cook meals. It was always pizza or grilled cheese sandwiches at the cafeteria. Or those damn Cadbury’s mini eggs from the mini-store on campus. We’d go see movies at the movie theater and stash king sized candies in our purses. Even if I wanted to go to the gym at 7AM I couldn’t… I couldn’t even wake up for my 8AM class. Sure enough I gained weight.

The summer of 2006, I went home… signed up for Weight Watchers and worked out every day since I had nothing to do. I was addicted and craving for more…so Dad and I started running at the high school track field when it was 110 degrees outside. I remember feeling amazing and losing 30 pounds before going back to school. My weight slowly crept back on after all those get together events, holiday parties, pot lucks, and sorority events. I hated myself for allowing this to happen after working my butt off to lose 30 pounds in the first place.

Now here I am tired of this story and want it to stop here and someday there will be a happy ending to it. Not only I want to lose weight but I want to make sure that I adapt to these new changes for good and not gain weight again like I did before. I am glad I finally opened up about this and made my weight problems known on my blog so now I have all these amazing comments from you all to keep pushing me to succeed.

Last night I met my Dad at my favorite gym inside the country club and since I don’t live there anymore I can’t work out there. I convinced my Dad to pretend I’m my 16 year old teenage sister and just keep his mouth shut when signing in since he’s a man who doesn’t lie. I’m proud of him because I finally got to work out there last night with him. We did the elliptical bike and I came home not feeling satisfied so I did the Biggest Loser video game on Wii. I had to choose between Bob & Jillian for my program… it was a difficult decision since I love them both. I chose Jillian and it was a long 37-minute sweaty work out! I’m getting the hang of this and dealing with it one day at a time.